Happy Thanksgiving y’all!! Thanksgiving is my FAVORITE holiday… I mean it’s a holiday all about giving thanks, food, and family what’s not to love. Anyway, this past month has been one full of growth, acceptance, grace and everything in between. For the first time I have stopped saying “the ‘a-word’” in reference to the word “adult” and have started referring to myself as “adult-ish.”
In the beginning of the month, Steph and I attended a conference with the Lilly Endowment in Indianapolis. Like I mentioned last time, I was petrified to be going to this conference. I thought that I had no right to be there, and shouldn’t be going. However, I now know that I was just talking myself out of the rooms I deserve to be in. I decided that Steph and Maggie must’ve seen something in me that I couldn’t see yet, and I tried to see it for myself. Once I changed my mindset, everything changed. I was the only young adult at this conference focused on youth and young adults. Because of this, there was a point of view that only I could bring to the conversation. Learning from all of these other organizations that are all working to bring youth and young adults back to the church was such an incredible experience. I am so blessed that I was able to have my first work conference be such a formative one! This was the first time this month I realized I was becoming an adult-ish.
This month has also been full of recruiting! Q and I went to the Ignatian Family Teach-In for Justice, and I went to 3 post grad service fairs at universities in Philly. In this fellowship year, I have been really trying to hone in on what it is that gives me live. Recruiting is definitely one of those things. I absolutely love sharing my story and experience of CFJ with others in hopes they will say yes to an experience of their own. Everyday I would come home from recruiting, I would be exhausted, but the good kind of exhausted. You know that exhaustion where you absolutely loved what you were doing and didn’t care how tired you would be afterwards? Yeah it was like that. However, the bags under my eyes after the lack of sleep was my second example of myself becoming an adult-ish.
Grace. This a word I’ve always heard but never fully understood. Maggie used this word to describe the fellowship to one of the students at a post grad service fair. It wasn’t until she described the fellowship as “a year of grace” that I realized how true this was. I have always been what some people would call a perfectionist. I’m a virgo, can you blame me? But I have recently realized that my perfectionism has been affecting my work. Sometimes I will be so afraid that my work won’t be perfect, that I won’t even start. You can’t fail if you never try, right? Wrong. I have decided to lean into this idea of a year of grace and accept that the only way to grow is by “failing forward.” Yet another example of how I am becoming an adult-ish.
This month has truly been a rollercoaster of adulthood but I think I’m finally strapped in and ready for the ride. However, like every good ride, there’s still that sense of fear and excitement wrapped up into one.
And in case your like me, excited and scared to become an adult… don’t fret, Natalie told me that you’re not an adult until you turn 40!