Last month Cat, Q, and I went to see Frozen II. I will tell you now that there are no spoilers ahead, all of the information related to Frozen II can be found in the trailer for the movie. But also at this point, if you have not seen Frozen II, you really need to get on that it is a fantastic movie! In the film, Elsa dives into the unknown along with Anna, Kristof, Sven, and of course, Olaf to save Arendelle. Going into their journey, they do not know what to expect, there is quite literally a giant fog blocking them from knowing where they are going.
Since seeing the movie Cat, Q, and I have enjoyed singing along to the soundtrack during our different car rides. During one of the car rides as Cat was belting out the chorus of “Into the Unknown”, I was reminded of the reason I chose this fellowship. I was between two different year of service programs, the FaithJustice Fellowship and Cap Corps at CYFM. The Cap Corps program was an incredible opportunity to dive in and lead retreats and get hands-on experience in youth ministry. I am sure that I would have loved spending my year with them. But what made me decide on the FaithJustice Fellowship was the unknown. With Cap Corps, I knew what I would be doing, and I knew I was good at it. But the FJF provided me with an opportunity to do a job I had never done before. It provided me with the opportunity to try something new, it opened up the possibility of failure. To some that might seem like a downside but to me, it was this possibility of failure that drew me in. Failure is an exceptional learning opportunity that we have, and I wanted this year of service to be a year of learning. So I took on the FaithJustice Fellowship unsure if the year would bring success, failure, or a mixture of the two. I was excited about the unknown that the fellowship would bring. I was ready to run into the fog like Anna and Elsa.
Over the past five months, I have gotten lost in that fog I ran into. The unknown became scary, and I found myself sticking to the things I knew I was good at. I stopped pushing myself to try something new because I became afraid of the failure. So as I heard Cat belt “Into the Unknown” and remembered why I chose this program, I realized that I needed to channel my inner Elsa and rush into the unknown and answer the calls that may come during the remaining five months of my fellowship.
I also thought back as to what the unknown has brought so far. I have a small group of students at Rider, but that small group is incredible. I am about to run my first retreat at Saint Ann’s for 60 eighth-graders, which has brought on a lot of unknowns, but I have conquered them all, and by 8:30 tonight, the retreat will have happened, good or bad, but I am hoping for good.
I am also reminded of the unknowns that I took on with the people. I had no idea what my community would look like for the year. But that unknown has revealed itself to be a lot of laughter and support. I will happily help Cat find the noise she hears any day, especially when it turns out to be her phone playing music in her hand. I have also found that the CFJ community brings a lot of joy. When hanging out with them, you never know what will happen, but I always laugh. Just the other day I was babysitting John and Natalie (Stephanie’s kids), and John busted into the room wearing his sister’s 1970s costume pretending to be her. It brought a smile to my face, and hopefully yours with this picture!
I am not sure where this fog of the unknown will take me, but I hope that it will help me continue on this path of self-discovery. I am renewing my commitment to the unknown and acknowledging that it might bring failure, but I will not shy away from failure anymore. I will find what is calling me in the fog as Anna and Elsa did, and hopefully not get confused looking for a Samantha (seriously see Frozen II, this will be way funnier)! So here I go into the unknown for five more months.